It’s (not so) greeeeeaaaaat!

yummy-pancakes.jpg

I was up with the sun this morning, preparing breakfast for you heathens: scrambling eggs, baking muffins, flipping pancakes, frying turkey bacon, stirring grits, the whole nine. Make no mistake – it’s a “No Poptarts Friday” up in Southern Comfort.

I checked to make sure the fridge was stocked Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice for landLORD, and water and B-12 for Big Homie’s hangover; brewed a pot of coffee for Mac, pored myself a cup of rose tea and sat to read the paper as everything simmered and marinated in breakfast goodness.

Then tragedy struck. Right there in the black and white in the business section I read Tony, Sam, Snap, Crackle and Pop might get whacked. Kellogs announced “by the end of 2008 the company will no longer advertise cereals that don’t meet a new set of self-imposed health standards to children under 12 begs the question of whether these icons’ beloved essence can survive the inevitable changes.”

In other words, in yet another effort to protect (read sanitize and remove responsibility from parents) our beloved (well, at least liked), harmless icons are being swept away. Because of course, cartoon animals make kids eat too much sugar. It has nothing to do with the actual ingredients in the food, or the parents allowing it.

There has never been a point in history (recent history at least- I’m sure the Middle Ages sucked) where there have been more “rules” and “recommendations” on how to live a safe and healthy life. Funny thing is, I don’t recall these rules when I was a kid, and I turned out okay. In fact, I’m quite certain my parents and grandparents didn’t have these rules either and, well, last month my grandfather celebrated his 86 birthday so, he turned out pretty good as well.

I never wore a helmet when I rode a bike or knee pads or other safety gear when I roller-skated. I doubt I always wore a seatbelt- in fact I’m pretty sure my brothers and I crawled all over the seats of the family station wagon as kids playing “fort.” We drank Kool-Aid (with extra sugar) until we were high as kites and our faces were lips were cherry red. We ate plenty of Fruit Loops and Rice-Krispies (also with extra sugar)… and well, we’re all doing pretty damn well. I am certain that all of you had similar experiences growing up, and well, you’re still here as well.

Kid’s have a lot to worry about these days what with shooting each other in school giving head in the hallways, global warming, the Shop Boyz and Mims. Don’t take Toucan Sam away too!! Keep some fun in childhood. Give the cartoons another chance dammit.

Oh, and please make sure you put your plates in the dishwasher before you leave.

Advertisements

60 Responses to “It’s (not so) greeeeeaaaaat!”

  1. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    Our society is being sissified, too many restricitions

  2. Moxie Says:

    ^^True ish Fidel. Damn is there any kats who rake the yard and take out the trash anymore?

  3. Big Homie belives Greenie's bath water > Southern Comfrot and Says:

    Great post Greenie pie and good looks for the vitamin B-12 and the water (your bathwater would of been magic though) Crazy how they regulating food all of a sudden. Kellogs is tripping for real. Kids got so much to worry about these days than this.

    *pours a rack of sugar in your bathwater* like it aint sweet enough huh?

  4. landLORD Says:

    … thank you baby …

  5. cOLD Says:

    *smacks fiya outta Land, snatches Ruby Red*

  6. the audience Says:

    Is this invite only? We’re hungry…

    What’s up “e. victor” (landLord)?

    What’s up SC?

  7. G7 Says:

    taking my favourite characters off the box…nhjic. that’s some bullshit.

  8. green eyes Says:

    the audience Says:
    June 22nd, 2007 at 9:33 am edit

    Is this invite only? We’re hungry…

    ^nah, e’rbody’s welcome

  9. the audience Says:

    green eyes Says:

    June 22nd, 2007 at 9:44 am
    the audience Says:
    June 22nd, 2007 at 9:33 am edit

    Is this invite only? We’re hungry…

    ^nah, e’rbody’s welcome

    ^^thanks…in that case, we’re gonna need 532 seats and separate checks.

  10. green eyes Says:

    ^^thanks…in that case, we’re gonna need 532 seats and separate checks.

    ^^ shiiit, there are stacks of plates over there– find a seat wherever, and drop your wallet off with the lady at the door

  11. landLORD Says:

    cOLD Says:

    June 22nd, 2007 at 9:30 am
    *smacks fiya outta Land, snatches Ruby Red*

    ————————————

    *landLORD shakes off cOLD’s effeminate attempt at aggression*

    *landLORD raises index finger*

    *state of NewJersey experiences rare earthquake*

    *cOLD now overstands with whom he is dealing*

    *Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice begins to rain from the sky*

    … the saga continues …

  12. tyrone biggums Says:

    * snatches plate of turkey bacon *

    * runs out the door *

    good post greenie more real talk

  13. Big Homie believes Greenie's Bath Water > Southern Comfort and Says:

    Still dunno why I only got the B-12 and water

  14. green eyes Says:

    you get everything else too. the B12 and water was extra just for you

  15. Michele Says:

    Damn, that picture makes my Weight Watchers bagel look pathetic.

  16. Rey aka KanyEmo West Says:

    Dang.. Now I got the ‘Itis.

    Good post, Greenita.

    ***

    “Kid’s have a lot to worry about these days what with shooting each other in school giving head in the hallways, global warming, the Shop Boyz and Mims. Don’t take Toucan Sam away too!! Keep some fun in childhood. Give the cartoons another chance dammit.”

    ^^^

    That made me L out L.

  17. Dem aka Thizzy Gillespie Says:

    fuck eskay’s extra “D” battery, greenie’s got turkey bacon!

  18. Phuque Says:

    The words “B12” and “WATER” appear courtesy of PHUQUE aka MICK SWAGGER aka THE NIGGA WITH HIS LAWYER ON SPEED DIAL

  19. green eyes Says:

    *fires another intern*

  20. Phuque Says:

    ^^Fix me a plate and I’ll forgive you…

  21. green eyes Says:

    *fixes phuque an extra special plate with the big piece of chicken*

  22. landLORD Says:

    … them pancakes aint cooked long enough … they’re still bleeding … i hate my pancakes rare … smh …

  23. Greeneyes aspiring weedcarrier Says:

    http://www.xxlmag.com/online/?p=10975
    ^^^^^
    Termanology “Born Alone Die Alone”

  24. green eyes Says:

    nice ^

  25. Big Homie believes Greenie's Bath Water > Southern Comfort and Says:

    Yea the pancakes do look pretty rare. I bet if I stick my finger through them, it goes through and nothing but batter drips from the finger

  26. green eyes Says:

    ya’ll some ungrateful fucks… eskay dont cook for you

  27. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    *comes back to Greenies*

    At least no one is discussing Canibus’ catalogue hear.

  28. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    hear = here

  29. Greeneyes aspiring weedcarrier Says:

    youtube.com/watch?v=3kNU7UIjb70
    ^^^^
    Mitchy Slick

  30. Big Homie believes Greenie's Bath Water > Southern Comfort and Says:

    ya’ll some ungrateful fucks…

    ^^ Chill bay bay

  31. Greeneyes aspiring weedcarrier Says:

    youtube.com/watch?v=3ZXC1ySxgcs
    ^^^^
    Talib Kweli and Strong Arm Steady

  32. The-XFacta Says:

    I’d love to spread that fruit over Greenie

  33. landLORD Says:

    green eyes Says:

    June 22nd, 2007 at 1:14 pm
    ya’ll some ungrateful fucks… eskay dont cook for you

    ——————————

    … AYYOOOOOOOOO !!! …

  34. landLORD Says:

    … im not exactly 100% in love with your tone right now …

  35. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    I like when Green Eyes gets fiesty

  36. LL(not the rappa) Says:

    lol…good post green…ima miss seeing toucan sam..my fav cereal was corn flakes( with extra carnation) and fruit loops *sighs*

  37. the audience Says:

    There’s always the knock-offs that just come in the bag (nh) like Fruit Rings, Frosted Fakes, or Cocoa Poofs.
    It’s crazy how an image on a box can make us think the shit tastes better, getting all mad because we gotta get the bootleg shit with the see-through bag and no prize.

  38. Big Homie believes Greenie's Bath Water > Southern Comfort and Says:

    Cinnamon Toast Crunch was the truth. Mmmmmm. I can eat that shit in water

    Greenie’s bath water at that.

    Remember ya’ll…its magic and purifies youth. True story.

  39. Fidel Cashflow Says:


    ^^^^^
    Ninja Turtles go crazy

  40. J 2 Tha AMZ! Says:

    Hey, breakfast ain’t really breakfast with out some Jamz!

  41. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    youtube.com/watch?v=36xfjnOOz3g&mode=related&search=

  42. J 2 Tha AMZ! Says:

    Man, phuck whatcha heard…I still keeps me a box of Capt’n Crunch or Frosted Flakes in the pantry for emergency sugar fixes…

  43. landLORD Says:

    J 2 Tha AMZ! Says:

    June 22nd, 2007 at 3:32 pm
    Hey, breakfast ain’t really breakfast with out some Jamz!

    ———————-

    … you need more peanut butter …

  44. Fux alvarez del soto guanajuato cabo veracruz oye mi canto rodriguez enriquez Says:

    Damn I am Locked out of Nah again with the 404 error ………..“fort.” wtf is that game, teach me Greenie, yes naked twister ……….. I stay fucking with Fruity Pebbles them shits are crack crunchy

  45. Fux call me Fuxycontin cuz I am so addictive Says:

    Dennis Rodman, never one for tact, made a bold statement coming out of dinner last night — he “needs to get raped in prison!”

    The b-baller-turned-trainwreck was spotted outside Forge Restaurant in Miami Beach on Thursday, where a photog awkwardly asked Rodman if he ever got any unwanted action when he was in jail. Rodman replied, “I need to!” after sharing some ridiculous ramblings about Paris’ stint in the pokey. Foul!

  46. landLORD Says:

    … i knew you were banned, B-Killer … Eskay doesnt like you …

  47. landLORD Says:

    … 1 …

  48. green eyes Says:

    # landLORD Says:
    June 22nd, 2007 at 2:53 pm edit

    … im not exactly 100% in love with your tone right now …

    ^^lol

  49. Mac Brown aka Velvet Jones Says:

    Kid’s have a lot to worry about these days what with shooting each other in school giving head in the hallways, global warming, the Shop Boyz and Mims.

    ***ON DA GOTDAMN FLOOR!!!!

    When you make a solid point……BABY…. you make a solid point.

    Damn I’m tired. LOOONNNGGGG day at work. I’m just getting home and don’t feel like doing anything.

  50. green eyes Says:

    thank you and cosign mac, im about to pour myself a glass of wine and call it a week my damnself

  51. nation of moderation Says:

    can someone pass the Brown Sugar

  52. G7 Says:

    saw Knocked Up last night. funnier than I expected.

  53. The-XFacta Says:

    I’m up in here…………..

  54. MadeInMilwaukee....Since1979 Says:

    So parents dont have to do anything anymore, they can just wait on the government to “legislate” whatever rules and regulations they need? Parents without self control, raise kids who have no self control.

  55. lo k Says:

    (looks for food)

    (sees crumbs)

    (pokes skin that has formed over the grits)

    (reaches for the last bit of leftover cranberry juice that no one wanted)

    (looks around)

    (drinks from the bottle)

    (bounces)

  56. lo k Says:

    I came back because I realized I ain’t ask you if you needed help with the dishes… my momma raised me better…

  57. lo k Says:

    rice krispies with extra sugar was the shit.. because you had to put soo much more than you would with corn flakes because there was nothing to catch the sugar and then you would end up with this crazy mound of sugar poking up from the milk once you finished the cereal…

  58. green eyes Says:

    # lo k Says:
    June 24th, 2007 at 10:23 pm edit

    rice krispies with extra sugar was the shit.. because you had to put soo much more than you would with corn flakes because there was nothing to catch the sugar and then you would end up with this crazy mound of sugar poking up from the milk once you finished the cereal…

    ^^ maaaan.. that was the best part. and your buzzed of that sugar milk all day

  59. lo k Says:

    ^^^

    ya damn right… where you think the ‘crack’ in “crackle” came from?

    I remember I went thru a phase where I used confectioners sugar on my cereal as a kid because it dissolved better.. it just ain’t taste right tho… cereal milk is like kool-aid, it’s gotta be crunchy when you stir it…

  60. The $tylez Says:

    wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    no breakfast for ya boy huh?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: