It’s (not so) greeeeeaaaaat!

I was up with the sun this morning, preparing breakfast for you heathens: scrambling eggs, baking muffins, flipping pancakes, frying turkey bacon, stirring grits, the whole nine. Make no mistake – it’s a “No Poptarts Friday” up in Southern Comfort.

I checked to make sure the fridge was stocked Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice for landLORD, and water and B-12 for Big Homie’s hangover; brewed a pot of coffee for Mac, pored myself a cup of rose tea and sat to read the paper as everything simmered and marinated in breakfast goodness.

Then tragedy struck. Right there in the black and white in the business section I read Tony, Sam, Snap, Crackle and Pop might get whacked. Kellogs announced “by the end of 2008 the company will no longer advertise cereals that don’t meet a new set of self-imposed health standards to children under 12 begs the question of whether these icons’ beloved essence can survive the inevitable changes.”

In other words, in yet another effort to protect (read sanitize and remove responsibility from parents) our beloved (well, at least liked), harmless icons are being swept away. Because of course, cartoon animals make kids eat too much sugar. It has nothing to do with the actual ingredients in the food, or the parents allowing it.

There has never been a point in history (recent history at least- I’m sure the Middle Ages sucked) where there have been more “rules” and “recommendations” on how to live a safe and healthy life. Funny thing is, I don’t recall these rules when I was a kid, and I turned out okay. In fact, I’m quite certain my parents and grandparents didn’t have these rules either and, well, last month my grandfather celebrated his 86 birthday so, he turned out pretty good as well.

I never wore a helmet when I rode a bike or knee pads or other safety gear when I roller-skated. I doubt I always wore a seatbelt- in fact I’m pretty sure my brothers and I crawled all over the seats of the family station wagon as kids playing “fort.” We drank Kool-Aid (with extra sugar) until we were high as kites and our faces were lips were cherry red. We ate plenty of Fruit Loops and Rice-Krispies (also with extra sugar)… and well, we’re all doing pretty damn well. I am certain that all of you had similar experiences growing up, and well, you’re still here as well.

Kid’s have a lot to worry about these days what with shooting each other in school giving head in the hallways, global warming, the Shop Boyz and Mims. Don’t take Toucan Sam away too!! Keep some fun in childhood. Give the cartoons another chance dammit.

Oh, and please make sure you put your plates in the dishwasher before you leave.