Everybody Talks About Fight Club

Seeing two grown men go at it always gets a laugh. Of course, I don’t mean in the Weezy loves his daddy kinda way, but late at night, after the club has closed and two knuckleheads who’ve been lingering in the parking lot start beefing, for a second or two its kinda funny. As long as a slightly sober member of the crew can break it up before things get too heated and weapons (weapons aren’t funny) come out, its slightly amusing, in the same way all those home videos are people falling on America’s Funniest Home Videos.

There are also the moments you catch grown men with grown up jobs and grown up responsibilities who should know better (read not drunk) going at it. Whether its politicians throwing bows on the assembly room floor, professional athletes-vs-professional athletes, professional athletes-vs-fans, or (ahem) rappers proving they still rep the streets (No Rodeo Drive), there is something decidedly funny about watching people break down in fisticuffs.

(Not saying there isn’t always a legitimate reason to go off: someone talked shit about someone’s moms; someone threw a empty soda cup, or even worse, napkins, at someone else; or someone has an album coming out – all legitimate reasons for bitch slapping someone.)

However, when we take a moment to think about it, some of the fun disappears when we see people we respect pay money to entertain us who aren’t drunk going at it at a garden party/luncheon. Perhaps some of the fun disappears because deep down we know that we are being taken for a ride and we are witnessing a carefully crafted publicity scheme. These kinds of shenanigans have become standard marketing tools if you have a new album coming out. Given the decidedly negative buzz surrounding T.I.’s new album, you can’t help but think his little scuffle with Chaka Zulu wasn’t slightly orchestrated (and a little desperate).

Since its publicity they are after, we know its all bullshit, and no one actual buys albums anymore — someone needs to smarten up and actually have one of these scuffles promoted like a prize fight. Cats could finally prove who the studio gangsters and real Gs are, we as fans would be able to see who the real- no gimmick MCs are because they’d just release an album and not get caught up in the bullshit, and frankly-it would be frigging hilarious to see two individuals who barely weigh a buck fifty soaking wet in their winter clothes standing on the same scale at the same time, in a death match.

Pass the popcorn.