Why Can’t We Be Friends?

 

anderson_hands.jpg

There is a popular theory that men and women cannot have a strictly platonic (read non sexual) relationship. We aren’t capable of separating sexual attraction and friendship because in essence, the really is no difference between the two. I tend to agree with this theory.

A very basic attraction exists from the moment two people meet and choose to have a conversation. We only electively spend time with people we find attractive-whether it be mentally, physically, spiritually, etc., so something attracted these two individuals and caused them to foster a connective relationship. As time grows and relationships deepen, it’s only natural that the attractions will as well, and sooner rather than later, what was initially a very platonic, respectful friendship will take on a new level. As that mental and emotionally attraction develops and deepens, a physical one will naturally begin creeping in.

If they both become aware of this growing physical attraction at the same time then the situation is ripe for platonic to become grow into supersonic. A couple will generally spend enough time together for the underlying attractions to either naturally dissipate, or, more commonly, they’ll act on these new feelings. Only once the attraction has been confronted, accepted and dealt with, can men & women be platonic friends, because the whole “what if” will be satisfied- the primal and biological need will be satiated. In the aftermath of this confrontation, both will come to the realization that they both got caught up in the moment and made a massive error in judgment, or it was the best decision ever.

Should it be the former, one can only hope they both have the maturity to accept what happened and laugh it off, however as anyone who has ever been in that situation can attest, that’s usually the last thing that happens. Many a friendship has been ruined from a sudden attraction and overeager sex. Unfortunately, that’s one of the situation that life will throw at you that you have to actually try out to figure out if it works. While its one of the risks of living a full life, it’s worth it.

You see, as human beings, we crave these connections. We want to spend time with people we recognize ourselves in, which we recognize who we want to be in. In perfect world, one would think that growing relationships from the seed of friendship is indeed the smartest move. Unfortunately it seems we have been miseducated to believe that these healthy and naturally developing connections are not appropriate, and in fact should be discouraged. Somewhere along the years, we have not been taught how important it is to be able to stand with like minded people in all areas of our lives, especially the most intimate ones, and that’s a shame, because we truly do need one another.

We are born alone and we die alone but we should have company on the journey in between, and it would be great if that company was a friend.

Post-track
Lil Jon, Usher & Luda – Lovers & Friends
Bill Withers – Lean on Me
Biz Markie – Just a Friend
Prince- Adore

 

LF: SC has been up for just over a month now and I noticed last night that I had over 20,000 hits. Now, I m not entirely certain what a hit is, or if 20,000 is a significant number in blogspeak, but to me it is. Even with all the SC = prison jokes, I truly appreciate the love you all have showed. You def keep me on my toes and from slackin’ off and succumbing to the urge to post sporadically. Without getting all emo, you all honor me, I am humbled by your support and visits. Thank you.

 

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97 Responses to “Why Can’t We Be Friends?”

  1. Slo Jamz Says:

    I agree with that theory too! Every man has thought about smashing a the woman that is now his friend because things didn’t workout for whatever reason! An if that female friend has a weak moment, the smashing could still happen….

    I just hope we can remain friends after the hokey-pokey session is over? 🙂

    Oh yeah…FIRST ninjaz…

  2. Slo Jamz Says:

    “I don’t see nothin wrong wit a lil’ bump-n-grind!” (C) R. Kelly before he pee’d on that girl…

  3. G7 Says:

    Good post Green one. I’ve been through this nuff times. Somehow i have maintained good relationships with most of the girls i’ve….you know. But for me I find that deep down that most of my female friends wish things were different and would want more if the situation was right. The friendly business definitely isn’t for everybody though.

  4. the audience Says:

    Once again, great post. We have come to expect nothing less from you.

    A friend is a friend is a friend…..no need for labels. Platonic is the netherworld of relationships, meaning “we did it, we don’t anymore, but we still cool….or…..we cool, we wanna do it, but we haven’t.

    As far as 20,000 hits you’ve received- I believe that’s attributed to how many times your site has been visited. Contrary to others perception, a lot of those come from the “lurkers” (which we’ve been called) who choose to read for insight, information, opinions, and mostly entertaiment.

    Congrats on the milestone……stay on your Yogi (no pic-i-nic baskets)

  5. green eyes Says:

    thank you fellas, i appreciate the feedback

  6. Phuque Says:

    Nice post Greenie….as usual…keep up the good work….

  7. green eyes Says:

    thanks phuque!

  8. Foekist Says:

    Man, this topic hits home furrill furrill. I am and have been on both sides of the equation on this one. Right now I’m on the bad side.

  9. bxconnect Says:

    great post greenie.theres this beautiful woman at my job who i have been kicking it with and wanted to hook up with on a deeper level.she wants to just stay friends so i told her we can still be friends and let nature play its part.lovers at the work place never really works out.thats a chance im willing to take.
    oh yeah thats probably my favorite prince song.

    hold it down ma ma.good things will come your way.

  10. green eyes Says:

    i used to subscribe to the theory never fuck with anyone you love an never love anyone you fucks with, makes shit easier. its not realistic though i you want more than a smash buddy

    for me, the crossing over the friend boundary ended badly, but w/e

  11. Rey aka Optimus Pr-Emo Says:

    Without getting all emo, you all honor me, I am humbled by your support and visits. Thank you.

    ^^^

    Usin’ my slang and whatnot…

  12. green eyes Says:

    ^ sho nuff rey!

  13. Michele Says:

    When I was younger there was a guy that I was friends with. We would hang out at his house, my house, go to dinner, go to movies, etc., but it was never anything more than platonic. However, it became clear that we could only be friends if we were both single. If one of us began dating someone our friendship would disappear. Magically, when both were single again we would find each other and resume our friendship as if nothing ever happened. Unfortunately, we realized that there may be a little something between us and we decided to test it out with a kiss. It was a sweet kiss but nothing powerful. In fact, it pretty much ended our friendship completely, with the exception of the yearly obligatory Christmas card.

  14. Jamz Says:

    I think it’s easier to recover from having sex first then becoming friends, then being friends, having sex and trying to be friends once again! It’s especially hard for women in my personal opinion….

  15. cMac Says:

    Isn’t that the truth!
    It’s so hard to separate work and play. I can only try my hardest, but somewhere along the lines, co-workers develop a relationship. Regardless of what the relationship is, it’s there. It can be strictly work and no attraction, or it can be Regina and Steve on the Steve Harvey show.

    Even if there is zero attraction, the two of you will still develop some sort of bond.

    Outside of the workplace, it’s still pretty hard to separate. I must say that I can do a better job outside of work, because you’re not “forced” to interact with the person as often. I have a long list of platonic female friends. But Chris Rock has said it 100 times… the truth is that there’s only girls you fucked and girls you haven’t fucked yet. I probably only have 3 girls that I absolutely wouldn’t try hit (on a drunken night or on some fluke shit)…out of respect for them.

    It’s hard green!!! It’s hard!

    However, I can at least handle business FIRST then PLAY. But to eliminate play alltogether? Fughet about it

  16. cMac Says:

    green….email

  17. Moxie Says:

    I kinda beg to differ I have homeboys that been my homeboys for years but see as brothers. Maybe cuz I tend to be tomboyish. When my female counterparts begin to comment on them sexually it makes me gag….

  18. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m84nT-ZiOs

    ^^there is a sample in this song thats sounds eerily similar to a piece on Commons the People

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwkDRewPqtk

    ^^check I thinks its the part “riding in the regal, my daughter found Nemo” that little snippet bangs like the other song ……what ydo you guys think?

    ^^^I am locked out of Nah Again

  19. LL(not the rappa) Says:

    lol @ I FUX….. and great post greenie!

  20. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    Greenie you are my E-Friend for ever. Not that I would ever want to really meet you, because i have a certain mental picture of what you look like and would act like and I would be very disappointed to find out you are nothing like that, yes Santa Claus

  21. green eyes Says:

    what up LL & Fux. Fuxie, i overstand where you are coming from with that sentiment and cosign.

  22. Two-Times Says:

    why y’all locked out of Nahright….?… fux?

  23. E Says:

    Yeah, I don’t think it’s possible to just have a platonic relationship with a woman. My only intrest would be trying to smash.

  24. green eyes Says:

    at least you are honest E

  25. E Says:

    lol ….. I keep it honest I wouldn’t deceive them either. I don’t think it’s possible to just be friends if there is any type of attraction.(no homo for talking about feelings)

  26. green eyes Says:

    lol.. i agree. i mean i have a shitload of male friends, but its not like i havent thought of smashing a few of them.

  27. E Says:

    eskay Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
    swiftchancellor.blogspot.com/2007/07/bodymore-and-male-capri.html
    ^^^^
    from nah right

  28. E Says:

    Yeah, I think it’s just part of our natural animal instincts to want to reproduce(or just smash) with people of the opposite sex that we find any attraction to.

  29. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    LMAO at Eskay knowing we spent a whole day talking about Capri’s…..usual nah it was all gravy went to lunch read some comments hit refresh and 404 error ……….

  30. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    Yo I have some friends I dont want to smash and they swear they dont like me but I know better, them hoes want this strong dick, no h to tha omo for talking about my p-nis

  31. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    Yo I used to pimp on Yahoo Messenger and now I think that shit is fucking wierd

  32. green eyes Says:

    # E Says:
    July 10th, 2007 at 6:33 pm

    Yeah, I think it’s just part of our natural animal instincts to want to reproduce(or just smash) with people of the opposite sex that we find any attraction to.

    ^^ cosign.. thats exactly what i meant about being biologically wired to get together

  33. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    ^^ cosign.. thats exactly what i meant about being biologically wired to get together

    ^^ how do you explain wanting to smash many different types of ways with someone or have an insane boner for like a chick you dont find attractive per se but she has something ……cuz if your people saw you with her they would be like wtf

  34. green eyes Says:

    i cant explain that fux. inebriation? pheromones? shit just happens sometimes

  35. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    green eyes Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
    i cant explain that fux. inebriation? pheromones? shit just happens sometimes

    ^^it was actually a question I didnt want answered, wtf is that called?

    Yo Greenie I am completely out of control right now, luckily my little girl is in Vallarta with Mom Dukes cuz as soon as she gets back I am going into full father mode………..give a ninja like me free time and a minimal amount of work and I cant seem to control by zealousness

  36. E Says:

    Sometime you just feel like smashing a chick regardless of how ugly she is.

  37. green eyes Says:

    ahh.. see i blame that on the heat.. summer comes around and folks get buck wild, lose their inhibitions.

  38. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    green eyes Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
    ahh.. see i blame that on the heat.. summer comes around and folks get buck wild, lose their inhibitions.

    ^^ You got it the heat is fucking up my hormones, no bitch in heat

  39. lo k Says:

    heat fucks up everyones hormones… not to mention come spring time when there’s mad pollen in the air from all the trees and flowers having sex, makes fools do some next sh!t…

  40. thoreauly77 Says:

    hmmm. i have had platonic relationships with women before, but it has only been when i havent found her (or she hasnt found me) physically attractive. but, if i find her attractive and she is single and so am i, i have ALWAYS at least tried to hook-up. i am a man and i love women.

  41. lo k Says:

    and to be able to get that many hits with no promotion is really good… it can only get better right?

  42. Mac Brizzown Says:

    What it is!!!

    Checking in from the left coast……..shout out ot ifux.

    I just needed to kick back at greenies plaece before I head out on the prowl town to check out the scenery.

  43. Mac Brizzown Says:

    ^^my strike was too long

  44. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    Mac Brizzown Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
    ^^my strike was too long

    ^^ ayooo ………*daps Macbiggity*

  45. I Fux aka Willy Mo Swagger Says:

    Peace to all

  46. green eyes Says:

    what up mac!

    and lo k, thats what i was thinking

  47. Mac Brizzown Says:

    how do you explain wanting to smash many different types of ways with someone or have an insane boner for like a chick you dont find attractive per se but she has something ……cuz if your people saw you with her they would be like wtf

    ^^We got the same problem my friend. I’m here at my seattle office…….MAANNN even the chicks that I’m not too keen on, I wanna smash. This one older milf chick I’m gonna see if she can “hang out” while I’m in town this week. Its just something about her.

  48. Mac Brizzown Says:

    Mac Brizzown Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
    ^^my strike was too long

    ^^ ayooo ………*daps Macbiggity*

    I meant to say stroke…………aaayooooooo

    Waves at ms greenie 😉

  49. green eyes Says:

    and he be strokin now…

  50. E Says:

    STTTRRRRROOOOOKKKKING

  51. Mac Brizzown Says:

    green eyes Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
    and he be strokin now…

    ^^HA…thats what I be doing…….huh!!!!

  52. green eyes Says:

    sounds like its what you will be doing soon… i told ya’ll mac is a pimp

  53. Mac Brizzown Says:

    @ greenie

    funny thing……my hotel room is RIGHT NEXT DOOR (meaning are doors damn near touch) to that married chick at my job……LOL

    Her husband found out a flew out here this morning …….. NO LIE.

    ***he seems cool though.

  54. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    There is a popular theory that men and women cannot have a strictly platonic (read non sexual) relationship.

    ^^^
    Girl “friend” + Guy “friend” + Girl “friend” breaks up with lover + meet me @ TGI fridays = Blow her back out in back of SUV

  55. green eyes Says:

    mac– prolly not “cool” enough to let you dig her out though

    lol @ crazy

  56. Mac Brizzown Says:

    Girl “friend” + Guy “friend” + Girl “friend” breaks up with lover + meet me @ TGI fridays = Blow her back out in back of SUV

    ***Daps 88

    Hands him honorary TX pimp of the decade award based on GP!!!

  57. Greeneyes Aspiring Weedcarrier Says:

    myspace.com/juelzbannana
    ^^^^
    AY

  58. Mac Brizzown Says:

    @ greenie baby

    Of course he not “that cool”….. shiieett. I didn’t know that he new my name & erythng.. I guess he realized that she is just kinda flirty. Hopefully no harm. Cuz I aint trying to push up on nothing… (really i’m not) 😉

  59. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    Mac Brizzown Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
    Girl “friend” + Guy “friend” + Girl “friend” breaks up with lover + meet me @ TGI fridays = Blow her back out in back of SUV

    ***Daps 88

    Hands him honorary TX pimp of the decade award based on GP!!!

    ^^^
    *daps Mac*

    …88 loans Mac Pretty redbone…. 20 minutes later, mac returns, Newport hanging off lip, Joker type smile & Redbones hair is in MoHawk…

  60. green eyes Says:

    yo- then there are those friends who dont get they can take a chance, until you tell em years later you were “curious about them” and they wanna build atime machine they feel so stupid

  61. green eyes Says:

    I guess he realized that she is just kinda flirty. Hopefully no harm. Cuz I aint trying to push up on nothing… (really i’m not) 😉

    ^ hey mac, we’re peoples, no need to explain, i dont judge

  62. Greeneyes Aspiring Weedcarrier Says:

    yo- then there are those friends who dont get they can take a chance, until you tell em years later you were “curious about them” and they wanna build atime machine they feel so stupid
    ^^^^
    lol ….. which is why I always intend on smashing

  63. Mac Brizzown Says:

    Yeah green beans you right about those “friends” I usually just get to a boiling point and go for it. If it ruins the friendship….oh well…….I can’t just sit back and wonder what could have been.

  64. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    green eyes Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
    yo- then there are those friends who dont get they can take a chance, until you tell em years later you were “curious about them” and they wanna build atime machine they feel so stupid

    ^^^
    i say get 8th grade with the shit, smash the chick & have ya boy bust out the closet with a camera… then tell the broad u need that new Skypager in 2 weeks… and u need the News Report Alert on it too…

  65. Thugged Out Uteris Puncher Says:

    hmm…..

  66. green eyes Says:

    i say get 8th grade with the shit, smash the chick & have ya boy bust out the closet with a camera… then tell the broad u need that new Skypager in 2 weeks… and u need the News Report Alert on it too…

    ^^ see shit like that and damn near every rap album skit has me hesitant to leave a sexy message in a dudes machine, send a graphic email or pics. cos ya’ll triflin.
    (unless he’s sending as well, then at least i have ammunition against him for when shit goes sour. MAE- mutually assured exposure)

  67. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    green eyes Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
    i say get 8th grade with the shit, smash the chick & have ya boy bust out the closet with a camera… then tell the broad u need that new Skypager in 2 weeks… and u need the News Report Alert on it too…

    ^^ see shit like that and damn near every rap album skit has me hesitant to leave a sexy message in a dudes machine, send a graphic email or pics. cos ya’ll triflin.
    (unless he’s sending as well, then at least i have ammunition against him for when shit goes sour. MAE- mutually assured exposure)

    ^^^
    …Oh yea… if she spontanious, im strippin… no face shots… (pause….n/h)

  68. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    SKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIPPIN!

  69. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    BUCKEY NAKKKKED!

  70. Mac Brizzown Says:

    That greeneye FL chick said:

    (unless he’s sending as well, then at least i have ammunition against him for when shit goes sour. MAE- mutually assured exposure)

    ^^Oh oohhhhh

  71. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    …u can see they public hairs!

  72. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    TITTIES!…..Azzzzz.

  73. green eyes Says:

    # Mac Brizzown Says:
    July 10th, 2007 at 7:53 pm edit

    That greeneye FL chick said:

    (unless he’s sending as well, then at least i have ammunition against him for when shit goes sour. MAE- mutually assured exposure)

    ^^Oh oohhhhh

    ^^ im just sayin.. i cant be the only one sharing.

  74. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    …some bitches lude pics are worth deleteing thou…lol…

    (girls voice)
    …hay baby…u get the pics i sent u?…u like?

    (88s Voice)
    …Oh yea, dem shits is nice. *DELETE….DELETE*

  75. Mac Brizzown Says:

    Aight folks

    bout to go chill by the lake and watch the planes take off before I go eat dinner.

    pics will be posted on myspace.

    later…….for now

  76. green eyes Says:

    peace mac

  77. Greeneyes Aspiring Weedcarrier aka Greeneyes Advocate Says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3hn1DXnEWc

  78. cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:

    *daps Mac*

  79. LL(not the rappa) Says:

    *just noticed* wassup green.

  80. LL(not the rappa) Says:

    you opened up a can of worms with this post..lol

  81. LL(not the rappa) Says:

    lo k Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 7:16 pm
    heat fucks up everyones hormones… not to mention come spring time when there’s mad pollen in the air from all the trees and flowers having sex, makes fools do some next sh!t…

    ^^trees and flowers sexing?…LOL….birds and bees huh.

  82. EnglandRepresent Says:

    The usual solid brilliance Greenie.

    I overstand everything you sayin. I’ve got a fair few female friends and I’m mates with most of my ex’s, well…some of my ex’s. But to be friends there is always going to be a certain attraction between a single male and a single female. If one of you is hugged up then its a non-issue. It only gets complicated if the feelings either one of you have are strong. Either way its not advisable for male and female friends to do the wild thing cos the friendship never goes back to being how it was.

    Greenie – my heartfelt congrats on your site, I’m a reg, 20,000 is amazing numbers for one month’s traffic

  83. green eyes Says:

    thank you Eng, i love your regularness. (no fiber tablets)

  84. cMac Says:

    is this where everyone goes when it gets late?

    Only person left on NR is Jakk Crakker.

  85. cMac Says:

    # cocca_88_crazy_88_since_88 Says:
    July 10th, 2007 at 7:52 pm

    green eyes Says:

    July 10th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
    i say get 8th grade with the shit, smash the chick & have ya boy bust out the closet with a camera… then tell the broad u need that new Skypager in 2 weeks… and u need the News Report Alert on it too…

    ^^ see shit like that and damn near every rap album skit has me hesitant to leave a sexy message in a dudes machine, send a graphic email or pics. cos ya’ll triflin.
    (unless he’s sending as well, then at least i have ammunition against him for when shit goes sour. MAE- mutually assured exposure)

    ^^^
    …Oh yea… if she spontanious, im strippin… no face shots… (pause….n/h)
    _________

    I’ve got video of my last 2 chicks I messed with and pictures of the last 4. Not for sale, just for my own pleasure. It automatically becomes insurance once it’s over. Didn’t you people hear about miss america? lol

  86. Two-Times Says:

    Hey Greenie, when are the ads coming…

  87. green eyes Says:

    workin on it two times.. seems like im on the wordpress account that doesnt allow ads. d’oh! im looking into ways to flip that situation though

  88. Two-Times Says:

    seems like im on the wordpress account that doesnt allow ads. d’oh! im looking into ways to flip that situation though

    ^defintley flip outta that situation… you gotta come with ads… that’s money… You need to get that “Get rich or Die trying” mentality about this blog… ya dig…

    watch this interview and listen…and then tell 50 don’t make sense…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvoL0jFIp_4

  89. Greeneyes Aspiring Weedcarrier aka Greeneyes Advocate Says:

    Get Ad’s Or Die Trying…..

    create some vitamin kool aid Greenie

  90. Two-Times Says:

    Get Ad’s Or Die Trying…..

    ^ Wow… Lmao!!!…..

  91. green eyes Says:

    # Greeneyes Aspiring Weedcarrier aka Greeneyes Advocate Says:
    July 10th, 2007 at 11:24 pm edit

    Get Ad’s Or Die Trying…..

    create some vitamin kool aid Greenie

    ^ e- this is why you are my advocate/weedcarrier

  92. Two-Times Says:

    Greenie

    watch that 50 interview…

  93. Rey aka Optimus Pr-Emo Says:

    Yeah, this post is pretty right on.

  94. I’m a rap music mutant with a cool name, Misconstrued fame but Plug spits butane Says:

    I hate that platonic friend ish

  95. Mr.O Says:

    Posts like this force people to stop “lurking” keep up the good work, it helps that you’re one of the few bloggers who could be a writer.

  96. Mr.O Says:

    Oh a better track would have been in a sentimental mood- imho

  97. green eyes Says:

    ^^ thanks for speaking out. your humble opinion is more than welcome around here.

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