During tonight’s Democratic debate, Youtube took center stage as carefully pre-screened plants average people from all over the US submitted questions for the contenders to answer. I’ll be honest-I didn’t remember what time the debate was on, and just happened across it while flipping channels after I got home from the gym, so admittedly, I mussed a good chunk of the debate. I’m sure it’ll be available on Youtube shortly, but until then- a recap of the last 15 minutes:

I came in while the candidates were in the midst of answering whether or not they would “pay lip service to the very religious and snub secular voters?: They all said a variation no, no, of course not, all votes count, no on is more important than the other, sounding a bit like your parents when you asked them who was their favorite, you or your sibling. I can imagine them going to the religion conferences in few months and saying the same thing, only replacing “all votes are important” with “Sinners are going to hell! Jesus says vote for me!”

A rather dodgy looking chap came on and asked a question about gun control. He was a concerned gun owner, referring to what looked like an AK47 as hid baby, and asking how the candidates would ensure the security of his “baby”. My personal answer is, you need to get put the gun down and get laid, maybe revaluate your idea of “baby”, but I’m not a candidate.

Bill Richardson said something to the effect of “Criminals and crazy folks shouldn’t be able to buy weapons.” He then took a sip of Vitamin Water and went on to add something about “Dealing with the root of the problem which is broke ass wannabe thug rapper kids in the ghettos who are the biggest problems facing the nation. (Okay, so that didnt happen exactly like that. He didn’t drink any Vitamin water). Joe Biden was on my wavelength and said the dude was kind of nuts. The poor kid will never be able to board a plane in peace again.

A young Mr. Toops from Colorado Springs, Colorado closed the debate with an exercise meant to “lighten up the mood”; he implored the candidates to “tell the audience 1 thing you like, 1 thing you dislike about the person to your left.” As I’m sure you can imagine, the results were hilarious:

  • Senator Dodd wouldn’t say anything mean. Punk ass.
  • John Edwards turned to the left and you could almost see his balls shrink as he got the evil Hillary eye of death and stammered something disapproving about her jacket. She was noticeably not amused. He probably should let his Secret Service detail taste all his food for awhile.
  • Hillary didn’t really say anything nice per se, just some hubbub about Barack being aight and Democrats being good leaders.
  • Even though she wasn’t to his left, Barack said he liked Hill’s jacket (but probably thinks she’s an evil cunt). The Barack/Hillary tension and subliminals are enough reason to pay attention to the democratic process. I bet he’s secretly piping her on the side…or beating her with a lead pipe, but I digress.
  • Bill Richardson generally likes everyone, and wants them to bow down as his VP. The rest of the stage erupted in laughter at this suggestion. If you listened very closely, muffled coughs of “fuck you” and “VP my ass.” Hillary laughed and Bill should probably think twice about starting his car for awhile.
  • Biden thinks it was a ridiculous exercise (spoilsport. I know who young Mr. Toops is NOT voting for) but I think he wants to bone Dennis Kucinich’s wife, whose name is pronounced KooooSHHHnick, not whatever mangled way you were thinking.

The “average Joe” interactive element was an interesting addition to what is usually a bicker fest. It will allegedly be employed during an upcoming Republican debate, which out to be quite interesting as Republicans tend to be even more humorless than the Democratic brethren. Plus, there are no woman running to spice things up with a bright jacket.


22 Responses to “Tube-ocracy!”

  1. Fidel Cashflow Says:


  2. Fidel Cashflow Says:

  3. green eyes Says:

    i peeped that when you posted it earlier, its bookmarked, good looking out

  4. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    Yeah, it’s a cool site because you can see pretty much determine what each candidate will vote for based on the type of contributions they recieve. Plus whoever spends the most money gets elected.

  5. candyraindrops Says:

    lol….fuuny recap

  6. EnglandRepresent Says:

    LMFAO!!!!! Fuckin brilliant post Grean Beans.

    Even though she wasn’t to his left, Barack said he liked Hill’s jacket (but probably thinks she’s an evil cunt).

    ^^*has cardiac arrest*

    Thats why I have mad love for Greenie

  7. green eyes Says:

    thanks LL, Eng.

    forreal the facial expression Barack & Hillary were making were classic.

    Damn Eng, your mans is big time.

  8. EnglandRepresent Says:

    Damn Eng, your mans is big time.

    ^^Yeah tell me about it Greenie, I went to school with dude too, known him since I was 8, we were like two of 10 peeps who went to University from my school. I’m mad proud of the ol’ ragamuffin and dude is real cos he’s humble as fuck. If I ever make it to that point I’m gonna be mad humble too. Too many brothers and sisters get a little something and think they’re better than the rest.

  9. the audience Says:

    Great post Ms. Green…..

    If they wanna spice things up, they should add the “common man/woman” element to the debates as a permanent fixture…..

    Their name could be “This Mofo” and he or she would give the most straight-forward, ig’nant answers (what the real candidates really think) you could imagine

    Moderator: Let me ask “This Mofo” a question- “Mofo”, if I can call you that, what do you think we should about gun control?

    This Mofo: I think anyone who considers their gun “their baby”, should have died while giving birth……. NEXT QUESTION!!!!!!

  10. G7 Says:

    so who’s favoured to win this thing?

  11. green eyes Says:

    lol @ the audience. i like that idea

    G7– i think the real race for the Democratic Nomination is between Hillary & Barack, the rest of the guys arent really on anyone’s list.

  12. Phuque Says:

    I’m not smart enough to talk about politics, so I’ll just say “good post” and keep it movin…lol…

  13. G7 Says:

    *politic crickets*

  14. lo k Says:

    cot damn I hate this circus… it’s always like this too, although I have to say that Hil and Barack definitely make more interesting characters than we’ve had in recent elections, although I do miss Ross Perot… I’ve always been a Nadir fan and I really wish he was able to run and win… I think last election there was talk of trying to get Jello Biafra from the Dead Kennedy’s to run, and while I’d vote for him, ultimately we know he wouldn’t win (that would be cool tho)…

    I don’t know what to say about all this, I don’t think the south and the bible belt (and whatever other snappy names that places in the middle of the country have) are ready for either a black and/or female president… I’d like to think that we’ve come to that point where it’s possible, but overall I don’t forsee that happening….

    truthfully, chances are that we’ll be under martial law by the time the election really comes into swing and we’re going to be phucked (no phuque)… I’m interested to see how things play out by 2012 which many have slated as being the end of the world…

  15. cMac Says:

    Green you know I love your blogs. I need to figure out how to get the RSS to download to my Treo automatically

  16. cMac Says:

  17. green eyes Says:

    ^^ lol.. thanks cMac

  18. pockets Says:

    ahh so this is the famous southern comfort blog. dont mind if i do.

    everybody, vote Ron Paul for president. dont get fooled and think just cuz hes republican hes a bad dude, hes not the typical republican. all these candidates mentioned in this blog, as well as those from GOP, are all the same. they’re all globalists but i wont get too much into that. Ron Paul is the truth, google him and do the knowledge. he did so good in the GOP debate they didnt invite him back to the next debate, which u know means hes doing something good.

    if yall wanna save USA, seriously vote for dude. or at least read up on him.

  19. lo k Says:

    that shit is hysterical… I’m actually kinda tempted to order it…

  20. lo k Says:

    ^edit: that shirt… shirt dammit…

  21. State of Grace Says:

    lo k, Jello would be entertaining, almost as good as Hunter S. Thompson almost becoming a Sheriff in Colorado back in the 70s. I miss Perot too, just for the comedy alone, he was like some crazy Texas leprechaun with hilarity in his pot instead of gold. As for 2012, I think it’ll be the end of the world as we know it, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

  22. State of Grace Says:

    Good reminder pockets, Ron Paul is some serious comedy too. Finally, the Republicans have found their Kucinich.

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