Use Me Up

 

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Romance has died. To court refers to showing up while your boo cops a plea. Nice guys are finishing last and women are trying to “masculinize” our habits and erase emotions. We’re not making love: we’re fucking for free.

Somewhere along the way our generation got it twisted and stopped valuing ourselves and one another as partners necessary for a full life. While our parents, and their parents ultimately sought out positive and healthy connections that allowed them to learn and grow, we think we already know it all. We’re looking for quick action that won’t spend the night so we can get back to our very important lives, viewing lovers and children as liabilities and weights holding us back. It’s all about us; we are the fast food generation who wants it all now, when we are done, we want to make a clean break, not stick around for breakfast.

We are choosing to stumble through life alone, too afraid to get close and make connections, too trained by popular culture to think of ourselves as objects to be traded for brief moments of pleasure and not beings of value.  See… it’s just easier to not be involved emotionally. Easier on our own psyche, emotions and our deeply ingrained selfishness. It’s easier for us to walk away from a night of contrived physical pleasure than deal with the impact of a passionate emotional and physical bond. If we convince ourselves it was just a smash and dash, we don’t need to worry about ever speaking to the other person again. We can continue living our solitude existences focused on our own goals and dreams, blissfully and steadfastly ignorant to how it may be easier to reach those goals if we choose who we shared ourselves with more wisdom and care and less intoxication and nonchalance.

Frankly, I’m tired of not caring. I never realized it would take so much energy and effort to keep people away. Choosing only those who I  know have no worth in my life is a more involved process than it would otherwise appear. Ladies, we are opening our legs for far too many unworthy motherfuckers who have nothing more to offer than a hard dick and a mean mug. Fellas, ya’ll are dipping into too many hos looking for a meal ticket or pair of cheap shoes.  In asking for nothing more than hot dick and nuts (ladies) or a wet snatch (fellas), we aren’t even getting a last name, much less decent conversation. Until we can learn to stop regarding ourselves strictly as sexual objects, on sale to the lowest bidder we won’t experience a full, complete and emotionally healthy life.

 While this is, of course, easier said than done, its at least worth attempting.

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56 Responses to “Use Me Up”

  1. green eyes Says:

    ehh.. i think this came out a bit more heavy handed and preachy than I intended.
    oh well.

  2. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    Deep post

  3. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    ehh.. i think this came out a bit more heavy handed and preachy than I intended.
    oh well.
    ^^^^
    nah, it was a good post, its just alot to process

  4. Furiou$tylez Says:

    its because women suck….

    unapprecitive monsters…

  5. Furiou$tylez Says:

    hot dick and nuts (ladies) or a wet snatch (fellas)…

    ^^^nasty mouf helfer…

    and i only ask for expensive shoes…

  6. what up folks Says:

    Hmmm….where did this come from?

  7. Furiou$tylez Says:

    and dont forget about my personal favorite…

    the wet hot mouf….

    aight im done now…

    no homo…

    chivalry is dead because bitches killed it…

    *cues up porn-grabs baby oil*

    i dont need em. let welfare feed em…

  8. what up folks Says:

    naw men got mad cuz women didnt need men anymore to support them. . . .but then again there is some trifling hoes out there. Lol smh..

  9. 456 Says:

    i dont think our parents or their parents were really any better in terms of this kinda thing. they just kept a lot shit hidden. but we live with youtube and myspace and ten thousand million cameras so all that shit that went on at the drive-in stayed at the drive-in. now all that shit is on public display.

  10. candyraindrops Says:

    good post greenie…someone got u mad huh..lol…….its unfortunate but true, that both men and women just cant be bothered…….it all really does start with the foundation that was set in the home…kids tend to bring along with the the baggage of what they grew up with. they carry this on into their relationships when they grow up. At this point, as an adult, it would be hard for one to break free of that. kinda like emotional bondage. Thankfully, I have a great relationship with both of my parents…there still are a few diamonds in the ruff fellas… *steps off soapbox, heads to bed* sawwy for the novel..lol.

    oh and I agree with Mac… “checking to see if the female/male has a good relationship with one of two parents is always a good thing”

  11. candyraindrops Says:

    what up folks Says:

    August 15th, 2007 at 1:48 am
    naw men got mad cuz women didnt need men anymore to support them. . . .but then again there is some trifling hoes out there. Lol smh..

    ^^^dont believe that….thats a front or she could just be a bitter bitch

  12. candyraindrops Says:

    *not the support part* a women can still want the presence of a man in her life and maintain her independence while doing that..aka multitasking.

  13. williehobbes Says:

    our parents only had access to potentials in their immediate vicinity….our generation has access to damn near the whole world; i.e., we got more variety. somebody else on here said it right; our parents were fucking around too, just on the low.

  14. lo k Says:

    actually it’s interesting you posted on this… I usually only watch tv for an extended period of time like maybe once every 2 months, this past weekend I happened to catch a whole bunch of the latest shows that are on VH1… That show the Pick-Up Artist really had a profound effect on me just because it really seemed to embody the evil that it seems pop culture likes to perpetuate… if you haven’t seen it, it’s a reality show where they take a bunch of guys that can’t talk to girls and teach them to become “a master pick-up artist” while making them compete for a cash prize and the chance not to get kicked off the show, as if their lives don’t suck enough…

    I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that they are capitalizing on guys that can”t get laid, putting guys that wear lip gloss, eyeliner, and bad hair in the spotlight, or further insinuating that it’s ok to go out and do nothing but pick up chicks because you’re worthless if you can’t… I was really disturbed by the show and could say endless bad things about it, but I think your post pretty much embodies the bulk of it…

    just remember, caring, sharing, and monogamy don’t get good ratings… unless of course you’re the cosby show…

  15. williehobbes Says:

    joey greco wont be lookin for a new job for a long time

  16. Rey aka KanyEmo West Says:

    Wow… My Emo-ness is effecting everyone!

    Nah, I totally agree, Greenita–but you probably knew I would.

    Also: “smash and dash” > “hit it and quit it”.

    Props on a good post, and even more props for having the courage to post this.

  17. Michele Says:

    This is a beautiful post.

    I’ve never been one to smash and dash…my heart couldn’t handle it. My parents were together for over 30 years before my father past away. Were they truly in love or were they just sticking it out? Who knows? I can only hope that I’ll find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I won’t spend my time sleeping with men just to fill a void.

  18. green eyes Says:

    good post greenie…someone got u mad huh..lol…….

    ^ no, although i can see how it appears as such…lol… it really stems from observations ive made of my own and those Im close to actions and conversations i have had lately on the subject.

    we call each other trifling and all sorts of other names aside from child of god and wait around for each other to fuck up until it becomes a self fufilling prophecy of sorts

    as far as our parents fucking around..im sure they did. but they still brought came home at the end of the day. the value of which is certainly debatable.

  19. The-XFacta Says:

    Yo Greenie, you really are great at these posts. You always hit some good topics and culturally diverse subjects.

    I think romance has taken a seat to good-ole-fucking.. It’s too much work and effort for people to actually get to know you.. SMH

  20. Phuque Says:

    greenie……………you changed my life today.

    *clocks out*

    *goes to church*

  21. Big Homie Says:

    It aint like from day one that I aint tell you that I aint shit. When it comes to relationships, I just dont have the patience (c) Jay-Z

  22. green eyes Says:

    lol. i dont change lives. once in awhile i mention things that resonate.

    thank you though.

  23. candyraindrops Says:

    I cosign Michele’s comment and yours to green…lol @ rey & phuque

  24. MadeInMilwaukee....Since1979 Says:

    I totally agree Green. As a people we have set our standards WAAAAAY too low. I have did it myself and I can see now I was playing myself. Keep doing your thang Green!!!!!!!

  25. the audience Says:

    the personal aspect of courtship are long gone- thanks to our friend we call “technology” and our willingness to allow it to continue to take over our lives……

    “interaction” has now been replaced by “instantaction”…..we are living in a microwave society combined with our ever-increasing ADD, where effort is not neccessary to obtain what we want and desire, but not so much what we need to enrich us, therefore completing us…….

    phone call- “fuck that…text me”
    visit- “yeah, visit me on Myspace”
    dinner & a movie- “take out and a bootleg DVD”

  26. green eyes Says:

    ^ CHUUUUCH.

  27. the audience Says:

    Also Ms. Green….We will from this point on, continue to omit the phrase “great post” in our opening comments…..the bar has been set by you, and anything post henceforth less than the standard excellence we are accustomed to will be held with the utmost distain from the audience…

  28. green eyes Says:

    ^nothing like a little pressure.
    But thank you, your honor me.

  29. cOLD Says:

    Welcome to the league green.

    you just scratched the surface,… when you throw STD’s into the shit, its even more disturbing.

    shouts to every couple tryna make a better life, hangin in through the ups and downs. Word to wifey.

  30. SC88 Says:

    …DAMN IT GREENY, WHEN I START MY MAGAZINE, IM GONNA CALL U.

  31. green eyes Says:

    ^ you better or no more lobster crepes

  32. lo k Says:

    why is finding a loyal mate such a hard thing to do?

  33. green eyes Says:

    ^if i knew that answer id tell you. not just loyal, but loyal and wanting to be there.

  34. Rey aka KanyEmo West Says:

    It’s an emo ass day, isn’t it?

  35. green eyes Says:

    it appears so. maybe we all need to hug it out

  36. lo k Says:

    I could definitely use a hug from a female… I haven’t been very happy lately even tho the weather has been pretty nice…

  37. green eyes Says:

    good hugs are hard to come by, but when you get them they just feel so good

  38. lo k Says:

    good hugs are very hard to come by… I hate those social hugs… you know like the church hugs when they stick their butt out? Nothing’s worse than getting a church hug when you think you’re about to get a real hug…

  39. the audience Says:

    *cues announcer’s voice*

    “Today….on a very special “Southern Comfort”……..

  40. green eyes Says:

    lol @ audience

    cosign lo k.. might as well just shake my hand

  41. the audience Says:

    a fake hug is social dry humping….what good is it worth?

  42. lo k Says:

    I hate when females give the fake hi just before the fake hug, as if they’re letting you know that they are genuinely underwhelmed to see you and they want to make it extra known by fake smiling and sealing it with a fake hug… I hate clubs…

  43. the audience Says:

    anti-social is the way to go…..now if you’re looking for a “real” hug, go visit your local AA meeting…..mofos (women-don’t get it twisted) hug you like it was part of their parole stipulation…

  44. lo k Says:

    ^^*makes mental note*

  45. green eyes Says:

    ^ lol.
    @ lo k… the club hugs from fellas where they are so obviously trying tocop a feel are wack too.

    a real good hug is a tight, firm, full body embrace. you just breathe together and exist, allowing in a quiet moment to connect. its an energy swap that can completely revitalize you and lift your spirits. (vitamin water not necessary)

  46. lo k Says:

    I don’t try to cop a feel when I give hugs, I think that’s lame… however there have been times where a hand brushed up against a boob completely unintentionally and it’s the most awkward thing to deal with because you want to say sorry but at the same time you really don’t want acknowledge that it happened, yet at the same time you just touched a boob… it’s the weirdest combination of emotions and they all happen really fast… how do y’all deal with those? I bet sometimes you want them to touch the boob huh?

  47. green eyes Says:

    lol. i cant give away all the girl secrets. usually i just ignore it, i mean, its bound to happen on occasion. unless its someone Im particularly close to, then I’ll tease ’em a bit.

  48. lo k Says:

    I guess it’s different for guys since y’all are never really near our crotches to accidently bump them with your hands… I don’t suppose I’ve ever really bumped into a cooch by accident either… by mistake maybe, but I don’t recall of any by accident…

  49. green eyes Says:

    LOL. i too have “mistakenly” bumped crotches before. hindsight 20/20. hopefully you live & learn.

  50. candyraindrops Says:

    lol @ lo k *gives lo k hug*

  51. lo k Says:

    thanks LL…

    *gives non-church hug back*

  52. Dem Says:

    man it’s a regular love fest in here. get off my lawn, you dirty hippies.

  53. pockets Says:

    I don’t try to cop a feel when I give hugs, I think that’s lame… however there have been times where a hand brushed up against a boob completely unintentionally and it’s the most awkward thing to deal with because you want to say sorry but at the same time you really don’t want acknowledge that it happened, yet at the same time you just touched a boob… it’s the weirdest combination of emotions and they all happen really fast… how do y’all deal with those? I bet sometimes you want them to touch the boob huh?

    lmao u seem genuinely torn, thats some deep shit bro. that got me thinking real philosophical n shit, u put that so eloquently. it seeped of emotion. o ya greenie, ur shit was okay too; seems like someone hit and ran.

    ya i just used the semicolon

  54. green eyes Says:

    yeah pockets, i need to start taking other ppl feelings into consideration.. smh

  55. Mac Brown pka Cashmere Jackson Says:

    Ummmm………this post hit home.

    😦

    Greenie………will you be my psychologist?!

  56. green eyes Says:

    ^anytime.

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