News You May Have Missed

 

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You know what time it: weirdness that may not be making the local news in your household.


Sexual Health News:
Old folks get in on. Hallelujah Viagra and Praises to Astroglide.

Greenalysis: While I don’t necessarily like thinking about my grandparents getting their freak on, it’s good to know that my golden years will be of the happy and naked active variety.

Mental Health News:
White kids are happy. According to this survey, they are significantly happier than Black or Latino kids.

Greenalysis: I really didn’t think a survey was necessary to tell us that kids generally born without the added stress of racism, disproportionate poverty levels and other such socio/economic struggles would be happier. One thought though– if white kids are so happy why do white kids, in disproportionate numbers, go all buck wild shooting up schools and growing up to be serial killers?

World News – The China Edition:
First the whole tainted toothpaste thing, and then last weeks bridge collapse. Now there is the plane exploding, the tainted toys, and the tainted toy factory owner committing suicide, the tainted chopsticks (they were supposed to be recycled and cleaned. The cleaning never happened) and finally the mine flood that has trapped and most likely doomed 181 miners.

Greenalysis: Frig. And here I thought the while “Chinese food restaurants serve cat/dog/pigeon” rumors in the US were bad. This cant is a good thing for the Chinese economy, but hopefully it’ll translate to a boon for the US economy. Lord knows we could use it.

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37 Responses to “News You May Have Missed”

  1. Mac Brown pka Cashmere Jackson Says:

    White kids are happy.

    ^^did we really need a survey for this?

  2. green eyes Says:

    my exact question.

  3. nation Says:

    >> According to this survey, they are significantly happier than Black or Latino kids.

    you needed a survey to tell you that

    *sees what Mac wrote*
    *daps*
    *takes greenie to bed*

  4. Thugged Out Uteris Puncher Says:

    White kids are happy. According to this survey, they are significantly happier than Black or Latino kids.
    ^^^^
    them crackkkkas ain’t playing fair,

    plus happiness is for suckas

    *proceeds to ice grill*

  5. EnglandRepresent Says:

    lmao @ the whole post.

    Why is it white kids like to randomly massacre mass amounts of people? Is it the evil influence of trenchcoats and death metal??

  6. The-XFacta Says:

    Yo is that C88 in that hoodie??

  7. Jamz Says:

    Don’t forget that most white kids are also pretty happy most of the time because they stay sniffing paint thinner and oven cleaner on the regular as well…

  8. the audience Says:

    it’s good to see that seniors are continuing to live an “active” life….for a lot of them, it’s all downhill after retirement…..relations should be a required part of a senior’s health regimine to help prolong their lives….

    i guess it would be nice to roll out of bed every morning knowing that the odds are in your favor in every aspect of your life…..but their happiness a majority (pun) of the time is in lieu of the happiness of the minority, whether directly or indirectly….reaping the benefits of your ancestors…..

    as far as them going nutty….that’s in their makeup….if they were to collectively go through the trials and tribulations of the minority, the majority of them would be human Christmas ornaments….fuck happiness, survival is what we’re dealing with, day-to-day….how many times have you greeted a brother/sister and asked “how you doing”, only for them to reply: “the Lord allowed me to wake up, so I’m blessed”….that’s our mantra….

    China is dumbin’ down for dollars, at the expense of the populace….it’s unfortunate when lives are lost for the sake of profit, which is what it all boils down to…..inferior craftsmanship for the sake of a few pennies (ok- millions/billions) saved….they shortcut while others get shortchanged…..

  9. Phuque Says:

    China lost.

    What I really want to know is who pays these people (AP, MTV) to confirm the obvious.

  10. bkscribe Says:

    Damn i need to come here more often.. I didn’t know about that chinese bridge collapse etc.. The More You Know (cue abc music)

  11. green eyes Says:

    im saying BK.. im a wealth of knowledge. some useful, some not so much

  12. reythehussein Says:

    LOL.. Greenita getting her irreverant on!

  13. green eyes Says:

    lol @ rey.. i know you prefer me this way more than tinfoil spooky greens

  14. the audience Says:

    @ Ms. Green

    sorry for the long ass post, I tend to overtype

  15. green eyes Says:

    ^ no apologies necessary, i enjoy reading your takes on whats going on (long ass or not)

  16. Belize Says:

    This cant is a good thing for the Chinese economy, but hopefully it’ll translate to a boon for the US economy. Lord knows we could use it.

    ^

    Asians are going nowhere. they got a lot of manpower and work for cheap (no 25 cent hooker). Asians, especially the chinese, have greater business ethics as well. Unlike other minorities, the asians, force thier kids to work in thier business then they give them the power to run that business when they become mature enuff to handle it. The US’s economy is in trouble cause, they keep pissing foreign niggaz off. Seriously, if we dont do somthing, somebody is gonna cuba our asses.

    And im done rambling…

  17. Belize Says:

    BTW..I love these posts!

  18. green eyes Says:

    thank you beli

  19. !Ven-Tech? Says:

    entertaining

    Greenalysis > Green aliens

  20. Furiou$tylez Says:

    Greenalysis: I really didn’t think a survey was necessary to tell us that kids generally born without the added stress of racism, disproportionate poverty levels and other such socio/economic struggles would be happier. One thought though– if white kids are so happy why do white kids, in disproportionate numbers, go all buck wild shooting up schools and growing up to be serial killers?

    white kids arent happy…

    RICH white kids are happy…

    and the cocaine dont hurt…

  21. Phuque Says:

    (cue abc nbc music)

    sorry….that just bothered me.

  22. HHFanatic Says:

    I dont think the US can catch up with China…..the way they are stealing intellectual property alone will make them rule the world very soon. Then the population numbers. I dont blame them either, its their turn so let them get their hustle on.

  23. HHFanatic Says:

    I mean catch up with how quick they developing….yes the US is still miles ahead of China in development

    ok, Ill quit talking to myself

  24. green eyes Says:

    lol.. no doubt.. HHF, i follow

  25. Big Homie Says:

    I really enjoy these. Not mention at all topics are always good, especially when Greenie writes it.

  26. AND FUCK YA WHORE MUTHA...CRAZY88SINCE88 Says:

    “Greenalysis”
    ^^^

    …lmao, love it!!!

  27. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    blogs.hiphopdx.com/fromoutwest/2007/08/23/we-re-not-designed-to-eat-meat.html

  28. G7 Says:

    China on a small losing streak right now, but they’ll bounce back.

  29. Mac Brown Lovin Says:

    Boom chicka wah wah!

    I’m drunk BITCHES!!!

  30. Bare Arms Says:

    You know whenever I see someone say/type you write so well I cringe not because you write with the candor of a tenth grader, but because it seems to imply something else…ionno I’m always reading too much into issues that don’t concern me. I’m still waiting on you to take someone to task about it. Delve deeper if you will. Greenalysis = clever. You should enter that in urban dictionary. {Fully expects other bloggers to take idea and run with it.}

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  37. empommaargusa Says:

    He put his eye to the hole. He just managed to spy some people sitting in deckchairs chanting, before a finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the eye. As he staggered back, the people started chanting, “Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen…”

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