News You May Have Missed: The Dumbass Edition

 

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I was planning on keeping the News You May Have Missed posts to once a week, however this week warranted a special edition devoted solely to a few incredibly stupid people. If you ever feel bad about yourself and your day- just read this and remember: you are better than these losers.

Agriculture News:
A plan by conservationists in Colorado to restore endangered trout levels has been thwarted as they have been restocking rivers and lakes with the wrong fish. For 20 years.

Greenalysis: Oopsy! Someone is so getting fired for this. A little fuck up here and there happens, and I’m sure there are many types of fish that look similar, so it could, maybe, be considered an honest mistake. It’s the whole 20 years of oops, my bad, that is indicative of why no one has any faith in the US Government. Especially the Greenback Cutthroat Trout.

Military News:
Six nuclear warheads
were flown across the Central US last week, attached, by accident, to the wing of an Airforce B-52 bomber

Greenalysis: Once, I forgot to take a bottle of nail polish out of my purse before heading to the airport, TSA missed it, but I tossed it out before boarding the plane, didn’t want it to explode. Another time, I accidentally left my rear car windows down a smidge overnight. I just got caught up in the day to day hustle and bustle and forgot. Luckily, it didn’t rain.  However, I can definitely say that I have never ever accidentally left any WMDs anywhere, and not because I don’t have any (which I don’t FBI), but because I’m not stupid.

Marketing News:
Some idiot kid in Boston leaned out of his dorm window and announced to his neighbors that his roommate was selling weed. This was proclamation was overhead by several cops standing around downstairs. Busted! D’oh!

Greenalysis: SMH. The North lost.

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28 Responses to “News You May Have Missed: The Dumbass Edition”

  1. MadeInMilwaukee....Since1979 Says:

    How do you F up for 20 years and not get fired? that means for the last 20 years NOBODY was doing there job!!!

  2. green eyes Says:

    you know????

  3. the audience Says:

    So if these mofos been stocking the wrong fish for 20 years, aside from the fact that mofos need to be fired, shouldn’t these endangered trout either be:

    a) extinct- 20 years endangered w/ no help = dodo bird status

    b) flourishing in quantity- 20 years endangered w/ no help = never endangered, somebody lied and caked off flippin’ bootleg trout (stupidity trumps lies in the terms of acceptability)

  4. reythehussein Says:

    Boston SOOOO doesn’t count as the North.

  5. green eyes Says:

    yes it does.

  6. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    the north stays losing

  7. candyraindrops Says:

    LMAO!…oh maann….im sure it gets worse than this

  8. Big Homie Says:

    Greenie you mad at me? No shots fired at Miami. I love Miami

  9. MadeInMilwaukee....Since1979 Says:

    We as a people have to start holding public officals more accountable for there actions. Mistakes like the one with fish are common in government. Its our job to keep them focused on real issues, not misnogmy in music.

  10. green eyes Says:

    cosign made

    and Big Homie- never that. i gots too much love for ya. but you know you are it, right?

  11. lo k Says:

    *turns up soulja boy*

    “yoooou’ll snap and roll”

  12. lo k Says:

    while on the one hand I’m glad that nothing happened with the nuclear (new-cue-lur) warheads, at the same time I really wish they would have dropped one somewhere and set off the doomsday machine…

    I just watched Dr. Strangelove again last night… I love that movie…

    hearing stuff like you have mentioned in these articles makes me want to stab somebody… but i don’t because everyone knows that I will go straight to jail without passing GO and without collecting $200…

  13. green eyes Says:

    ^ and that would make me sad

  14. AzIz Says:

    well damnn (c) cedes

  15. green eyes Says:

    what up shan. aint this some shit for real?

  16. MadeInMilwaukee....Since1979 Says:

    How you going to tell on the weed man!

  17. EnglandRepresent Says:

    lmmfao @ all of the above

    You can understand why the rest of the world generalises Americans as DUMB muthafuckas……I mean its understandable innit???

    It’s the whole 20 years of oops, my bad, that is indicative of why no one has any faith in the US Government

    ^^That had me rollin…..

    Greenie – you the bessssssssssssssssst

  18. green eyes Says:

    you make me blush

  19. AzIz Says:

    green eyes Says:
    September 6th, 2007 at 8:51 pm

    what up shan. aint this some shit for real?

    ^^i’m good greenery. dumbass edition is an understatement.

  20. MadeInMilwaukee....Since1979 Says:

    What up Shan?

  21. EnglandRepresent Says:

    What up Sha Sha, Made?

    I make you more than blush Greenie, don’t be coy just cos there’s other folk up in here!

  22. MadeInMilwaukee....Since1979 Says:

    What up REPpin time?

  23. Mac Brown aka Designer Vagina Finder Says:

    WTF……….Shan!!??

    Where the hell you been mama?

  24. AzIz Says:

    * waves @ made and eng *

    aight, y’all. gotta skate…good night.

  25. AzIz Says:

    gotta come back to say what up to mac ofcourse. mac, i’ve been kinda busy, school started back, working, trying to figure out what the future beholds, graduation is nigh…you know how it is.

  26. AzIz Says:

    ok really out this time y’all.

  27. MadeInMilwaukee....Since1979 Says:

    Be easy Shanti!

  28. Belize Says:

    *dies at the marketing news*

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