Freak Fest

 

sex-holiday.jpg

Recently a small town in Russia attempted to boost its population, began a baby making contest giving couples time off from work to roll around naked. Over 500 people registered for this paid holiday off.

Brilliant!

Lets be honest, not all 500 of those Russians had intentions on actually making a baby. A good deal of them were quite possibly single and just wanted a day off, a large amount were quite possibly horny and wanted a free day to shag with no intentions of procreating, and maybe 10 or 20 actually obeyed the rules. Regardless of the motives-the next day there were several hundred happy and relaxed Russians.

I hereby officially propose that the US establish a National Lets Get It On Day.

In our fast paced, fast food, microwave society, we spend too much time working, running, on a constant hustle, fitting in a e-fuck here, a smash and dash there but allotting very little time for true relaxation and enjoyment. Weekends are shot to hell as we race to accomplish whatever errands the work week doesn’t allow for, our personal time stolen by chores, laundry, groceries and other menial activities so we return to work pissy and tired, feeling ever more robbed of our personal lives and underpaid in our professional lives.

However-imagine the productivity increase in the American workforce of there was a day designated towards the ultimate relaxation tool: sex. Businesses would close, people would race home (or wherever) to fulfill the patriotic duty of boot knocking. Industries would arise—special “US Sex Day” manuals would be written, musicians would create Sex Day Anthems, Victoria’s Secret and Frederick’s of Hollywood would have sex day sales. Durex, Trojan and KY would come out with special new textures and flavors.

The next day, workers would return to the office. Revitalized, relaxed, and refocused. Productivity might actually increase for a day or two before endorphins levels go back to normal.

Now granted—there are all sorts of variables to be considered- what will single and ugly people do? (I guess they’ll work like Jews on Christmas. Shout out moms side of the tree!) All details that could be worked out later.

A national day of sex would be a very good look. It’s a platform I would definitely vote for. Wouldn’t you?

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49 Responses to “Freak Fest”

  1. Two-Times Says:

    word………that’ wassup… yeah we need a national day like that too…..for real…

    this is a great post….

  2. pockets Says:

    sexy first! i wonder if russia also wanted to spread stds as well, depopulating the country and thereby balancing out all the procreation. thus, no change in population and now russia now looks like a stud muffin. excellent.

  3. bkscribe Says:

    Damn Russia won… for once.

  4. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    I approve of this post

  5. green eyes Says:

    thanks fellas.
    night folks.

  6. bkscribe Says:

    LOL interesting logic pockets

  7. Furiou$tylez Says:

    lol @ pockets…nuff said…

  8. EnglandRepresent Says:

    You could also have guest spots on USA Sex Day where, by attempting to actually produce indiviuals of any worth, intelligence, knowledge of self, good looks, humour etc you get dudes from other countries (England) to come in and slay your wenches for you. Thus givin you far better seeds and also pissin off the already large populus of ignorant, chutney ferret dipshit males which already reside in the good ol’ U S of Aye.

    *looks at dudes in SoCo* (no homo)

    yep pretty much who I’m talkin about

    EnglandRepresent for President of USA Sex Day

  9. Fidel Cashflow Says:

    You could also have guest spots on USA Sex Day where, by attempting to actually produce indiviuals of any worth, intelligence, knowledge of self, good looks, humour etc you get dudes from other countries (England) to come in and slay your wenches for you. Thus givin you far better seeds and also pissin off the already large populus of ignorant, chutney ferret dipshit males which already reside in the good ol’ U S of Aye.

    *looks at dudes in SoCo* (no homo)

    yep pretty much who I’m talkin about

    EnglandRepresent for President of USA Sex Day
    ^^^^^
    pfffftttt……

    chicks don’t find Austin Powers attractive(nhjic)

  10. Skimaskway Says:

    England Rep=www.tinyurl.com/2wvdww

    smh at dude

  11. Skimaskway Says:

    Thats crazy though, I heard all parents of babies born that day also recieve prizes.

  12. MadeInMilwaukee....Since1979 Says:

    My own personal “sex day” is what got me twins in the first place!

  13. cOLD Says:

    it should be a National bang a whore day for the men, what man wants to take off and bang his girlfriend/wife.

    and as far as the women, they should a have a national clean the fucking kitchen spotless day.

  14. green eyes Says:

    BOOO at cold. you suck.

  15. cMac Says:

    I’m 2 young for the kids…
    But I could def take the day off

  16. the audience Says:

    Boris and Natasha getting it in huh? Great idea.

    What would really be cool is if they set it up for the single/doggish/whorish people to congregate at a shelter like they do for the homeless on Thanksgiving and have a free-for-all.

    “Boss, I won’t be in today, I’m getting my fuck quota in”

    Is fellatio considered a half-day? (-)

    Is banging a fat chick time and a half?

    Is banging an ugly chick considered hazard pay?

    I thought that’s what Wednesday (hump day) was for already.

  17. green eyes Says:

    ^ lmao

  18. the audience Says:

    This used to be such a nice wholesome couple.
    Guess they always had the freak in ’em. (header picture)

    tinyurl.com/ytwkgs

  19. green eyes Says:

    ^^ ha

  20. Phuque Says:

    LMFAO @ that picture…

    good post green beans…

  21. yaboy Says:

    this post was amusing to read… i approve the ‘sex day.’ made me wonder…

    green, are you getting smashed enough?

  22. green eyes Says:

    lmao.. why do you ask?

  23. Whatdafuk Says:

    Hell naw! more baby mama/daddy drama, bebe kids, stds more violence, Nuff said! bad idea greenie.

  24. coffeespoons Says:

    this is an idea i can get behind! and no, i don’t think you’re getting enough ass, friend.

  25. T DOT Says:

    ^ Co-sizzle.

    So…

    http://tinyurl.com/232arz

  26. HHF Says:

    The fuck is that 2 from the bottom right corner to the left? You need a pillow under your back or something.

    >>>>
    Skimaskway Says:

    September 13th, 2007 at 3:16 am
    Thats crazy though, I heard all parents of babies born that day also recieve prizes.

    >>>

    The one story showed a new couple in their spanking new SUV.

  27. green eyes Says:

    lol @ HHF– gotta stretch first, might fuck around and pull a muscle (literally)

    thank you madame coffee for sharing.

  28. green eyes Says:

    and TDOT– that commercial is frigging hilarious. warp it up folks.
    and p– i wasnt proposing a “baby making day” but “get your freak on day”.
    not a “clean your kitchen day either” (cold)

  29. LL(not the rappa) Says:

    FAct: RUSSIANS ARE FREAKS..FUnny post green…and i read somewhere else, a family got some prizes for their newborn. -a new car, etc.

  30. Mac Brown aka Designer Vagina Finder Says:

    **gets vasectomy

    **moves to Russia

  31. reythehussein Says:

    I’d be all for this!

    Good post Greenie!

  32. woodro Says:

    THATS DOPE….RUSSIAN WOMAN MAKE INSIDE OF PANTS JUMP…

  33. Big Homie Says:

    Applauses this post. Greenie..we need to step it up kid.

    Your are still it btw

  34. cocca88crazy88since88 Says:

    I hereby officially propose that the US establish a National Lets Get It On Day.

    ^^
    sounds good to me…can we give fake names?
    Christopher Eighty
    Chris Eightt
    Cocha Crasey
    Electron Ghrem
    Snor Eightt Jr.
    ….i got a million of’em!

  35. cocca88crazy88since88 Says:

    I hereby officially propose that the US establish a National Lets Get It On Day.

    ^^
    sounds good to me…can we give fake names?
    Christopher Eighty
    Chris Eightt
    Cocha Crasey
    Electron Ghrem
    Snor Eightt Jr.
    ….i got a million of’em!

  36. cocca88crazy88since88 Says:

    yea, i gotta use that board, i need to try some moves out.

  37. green eyes Says:

    ^^ Lmao…. question really is, of the 20 shown– how many have you already done?

  38. yaboy Says:

    you know, im in the area sometimes…
    just a question…

  39. lo k Says:

    turn ya radios up…. it’s a friday!

    http://www.wnhu.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=13&Itemid=27

    nice image btw…

  40. green eyes Says:

    ^ no doubt.. checking for you now

  41. lo k Says:

    woohoo!!

  42. 911 Says:

    the real question is how many people errrr how many times you signing up? :}

  43. cMac Says:

    feed me!!!

  44. cMac Says:

    my page has been officially blessed now.
    Greenie made her first appearance!

    i love your writing though. I’ll post some fire starting Monday

  45. Mr. 305 Says:

    Good post ma……you need help wit some of those positions??? I’m around

  46. Belize Says:

    we spend too much time working, running, on a constant hustle, fitting in a e-fuck here, a smash and dash there but allotting very little time for true relaxation and enjoyment.

    ^

    Ummm…yeah, thats y I got a sex break

    a weekly nut keeps ur brain from going nuts [||]

  47. benhameen Says:

    Nice post greenie and um why do i have to look happy? pimping aint easy you know….

  48. ala Says:

    reythehussein Says:

  49. Anastasia Says:

    Several years ago Putin also proposed paying mothers 100,000 RUB for each child. That works well as well. But I like the idea of F*CKING DAY OFF.

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