The Monogamy Myth

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Birds do it. Some fish do it. We do it. A least, we try to do it. No you dirty bastards; I’m not talking about sex (this time). (Most of us do more than just try to do that) I’m referring to the “M” word. Monogamy.

Biologist and hyper religious types like to point out that the wild animal kingdom is full ogf monogamy. But we aren’t animals (debatable, I know), and frankly, only 5% of the animal kingdom is socially monogamous. The rest- they sow their wild oats. Wildly. We’re humans. If we were animals, maybe it would be appropriate to be monogamous. If we were prairie voles, eagles, penguins, wolves, lobsters, perhaps one mate for life would be natural.

So why do we try and fool ourselves into thinking monogamy is the end all have all, be all of our lives? Western society, and contemporary religion has taught us that we should find a choose one person to remain with for our entire lives. Never stray, in fact, suppress any desire to stray, any need to be free to bond, mate and share with another. So we conform to this societal construct, creating a type of prison for ourselves to coexist in, hoping the companionship we somehow choose will be a string enough a warden to keep us on the straight and narrow.

But is it natural? Are we really made to be with just one person for the bulk of our lives?

See I’m part of the generation of little girls raised on Disney cartoons and other such fables that guaranteed a happily ever after ending. However my generation is also the generation of divorce. As commonplace as it is today, to those before us, divorce wasn’t the norm. However, in the past 30 or so years, it would appears as though some primal instinct to not be bound to another, or at least to the same another for all time, is struggling out of suppression. Even amongst genders, there is a desire to be with many, one that is encouraged significantly more in men than women, yet it exists equally in both sexes.

I readily admit that even I romanticize about the idea of a happily ever after. I also however, would like the power to stop time to catch a few extra ZZZs in the morning, or have a magic ATM card that always has enough money in it. Unrealistic, yes. But is monogamy anymore realistic? Or are we just better at fooling ourselves into believing that particular brand of magic? Part of me hopes its possible. Another part knows better.

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29 Responses to “The Monogamy Myth”

  1. EnglandRepresent Says:

    Nah human beings are’nt built to be with one person their whole lives. Its just not natural. We’re meant to get out freak on whenever possible.

    What up Green Beans?

  2. EnglandRepresent Says:

    Oh shit I got a foist. Legend.

  3. HHF Says:

    thoid..

    and yeah, what British said

  4. the audience Says:

    Anything forced that requires such dilligence to maintain is not natural.

    (-)

  5. G7 Says:

    great post greenie. monogamy can be a bitch. word life!

  6. cMac Says:

    our society built around religion….at question once again.

  7. G7 Says:

    http://www.quantcast.com/southerncomfort.wordpress.com

    Greenie. Here’s your blog stats. Shows that we’re constantly being watched. Crazy!

  8. green eyes Says:

    ^ i peeped that! Crazy! i want to know how the collected this data.

  9. Big Homie Says:

    I had to look up monagamy to find out the definition. Once I read the definition I still do not know what it is. I cant do what I dont know. I only know what I know.

    Guess who is not getting married?

    LOL…naw but forreal, maybe one day, but today..just isn’t the day. Good post ‘It’

  10. Phuque Says:

    But is it natural? Are we really made to be with just one person for the bulk of our lives?

    ^^^

    Yup….STDs/AIDS epidemic naturally made me wanna stay with one woman.

    Fantabulous post ms. green beans…

  11. OnPoint Says:

    G7 Says:

    October 25th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
    http://www.quantcast.com/southerncomfort.wordpress.com

    Greenie. Here’s your blog stats. Shows that we’re constantly being watched. Crazy!

    ^^^crazy ish

    how do they break down the ages?!?!

  12. Michele Says:

    ^^Yup….STDs/AIDS epidemic naturally made me wanna stay with one woman.

    Exactly. I think if you are single, do what you have to do. However, if you knowingly enter into a committed relationship, don’t try to bring that “Oh men are built differently than women…we can’t be tied down to one woman sexually for the rest of our lives.” I actually had a guy try that with me…as if I would go for being in a relationship with someone who thought it would be ok to sleep around with other women because it was natural. Please. He left quicker than he could find another bed partner.

  13. cOLD Says:

    cosign Phuque, its highly unatural, …but a great chess move. Fuck that I aint tryna body myself behind some poon. Facts are the allure of Pussy is so deep, you could try and fool yourself and say your not going to chase the cat, but nature kicks in, and before you know it you sliding up raw in deaths tunnel (c) Fux. Key to monogamy is respect and or fear, either you respect your partner to the point you would never take a chance on some outside pussy and having the condom pop, or you fear the repercussions. You could continue thinking you can win the battle of the power of the Pussy, or you can admit to its strength, and strategically place a defense mechanism in place of it.

  14. green eyes Says:

    so basically you are saying its unnatural, but the addition of STDs to the mix make it desirable?

  15. QdotSmith Says:

    greenie what it is mama, first time over to your blog, i likes. good post by the way. monogamy is hard thing to accomplish. To achieve this you have to have self discipline.. alot of it. i guess thats why they say you should wait to be married because mentally you might not be there, even though you think you are. now a days people get stupid and “think they all in love cause they can spend a day together”- Common

  16. cOLD Says:

    so basically you are saying its unnatural, but the addition of STDs to the mix make it desirable? necessary

    ^it comes a time in every mans life, when he gotta keep it real with himself.

  17. green eyes Says:

    thanks QDot

    Cold- but again, we’re talking about bringing in outside factors.. my wonder just goes to the real basic principle of whether or not monogamy is natural for humans. Take out STDs, just looking at our primal instincts– is it truly what we want, or is it what we choose because we have been taught we should? at the end of the day, is the goal a really to be fully satisfied and complete with one person, or is there a longing for more? (whether we choose to follow through with the longing or not)

  18. LL(not the rappa) Says:

    green eyes Says:
    October 25th, 2007 at 4:02 pm

    thanks QDot

    Cold- but again, we’re talking about bringing in outside factors.. my wonder just goes to the real basic principle of whether or not monogamy is natural for humans. Take out STDs, just looking at our primal instincts– is it truly what we want, or is it what we choose because we have been taught we should? at the end of the day, is the goal a really to be fully satisfied and complete with one person, or is there a longing for more? (whether we choose to follow through with the longing or not)

    ^^^good questions green..I think there is always a longing for “more”..but i’m also a believer in practicing monogamy.

  19. Shanti Says:

    good post.

    i’m not sure if monogamy is natural or not but what i did find interesting with the comments is that people seemed to automatically assume that mostly men use the “monogamy isn’t natural” argument. question for those men who don’t think its natural—is it ok for it not to be natural for your girlfriend/wife as well?

    i think that in order for me to be in an open relationship i would have to either not really give a fuck about the person or really love the person alot. one of the two extremes. i would have to love them enough to trust that us having outside sexual relationships wouldnt interfere with our feelings for eachother. or maybe not. shit, i don’t know.

  20. Mr. Opinion Says:

    I think humans are the only ones to get deadly dieases from sex.. I don’t think other animals have to wear condoms to avoid the Alphabet (sp) diseases… anyway i don’t like monogomy at all, we should feel free to have sex with whoever regardless of martial status!!

  21. E aka FidelCa$hflow Says:

    Green Eyes stays droppin’ knowledge

  22. candyraindrops Says:

    dAMN GREENIE…u deleted my comment?

  23. green eyes Says:

    my bad.. you got stick in spam,. its there now

  24. skimaskway Says:

    But humans are animals, we are a species of Animals. And almost every male animal on the discovery channel is not monagamous. Male lions often have 5 or 6 females mates at a time. Either this or they mate and move on to the next female. Same goes for practically every mammel. Polar Bears, Cheetahs, Seals, Sharks, Buffalos, Leopards, Tigers, etc. Thats nature for you.

    Humans are just highly evolved mammals, throughout the years we have evolved to the point that we are able to live without relying on are natural instincts. Humans are becoming weaker and weaker in a sense. When the cave man lived he hunted giant lions and was able to withstand constant negative degree freezing weather. Also how come all these dieases that were not present hundreds of years ago but are here now?

  25. reythehussein Says:

    Awww.. This makes me kinda almost sad.

    In any event, I think monogamy is possible, people just need to calm the F down and quit humping everything in sight.

    I see…I see…another “The Emo Files” post!

    Props, Greenita!

    –Rey

  26. QdotSmith Says:

    in other words ment need dick control, and women need to fiend only for their man. I’ll tell you what though, a smart girl takes care of her man before he leaves the house everyday, or the nite before or whatever. if he getting it good on the regular then monogomy is alot easier to achieve. but fellas you gotta control your dick. if you have no dick control you nothin but a grown ass kid, sexually.

  27. green eyes Says:

    . I’ll tell you what though, a smart girl takes care of her man before he leaves the house everyday, or the nite before or whatever. if he getting it good on the regular then monogomy is alot easier to achieve.

    ^ ya’ll motherfuckers REALLY REALLY REALLY need to stop thinking you have the magic dick and we dont want for more. smh. if you want us to take care of your needs you all damn well need to step the fuck up and handle OUR needs as well.

  28. QdotSmith Says:

    @greenie

    aint nobody say nothing bout a magic dick… and it goes both ways, i never mention takin care of the woman just because i do, i find more pleasure in that then being takin care of… but those sexual desires and needs need to be takin care of… if they are then there is no reason for temptation to even enter the brain. i think monogomy and sex are all mental. its not physical. the physical aspect of sex is the effect of the mental stimulation that gets the juices going. if people stopped hopping around and developed a mental connection with their partners the sex would be more then satisfying, which leads to the want of having sex with same partner on a more regular basis. More fulfilling healthy sex between two people creates a bond and …::drum roll please::… increases the pleasures of being in a monogomous relationship. but there has to be a mental connection, thats why i say these grown ass children need dick control and the women need to stop being afraid to suck dick like a porno star, and doods need to stop being selfish and put work into the pussy and make her do a silent scream or bite a wall…

  29. green eyes Says:

    ah. i can def walk with on you that QDot. Very true… none of us put enough time into developing and significant mental connections, anything other than the physical, so it is no wonder that we only see each other as sex objects, not as partners or friends or any of that ilk.

    i was responding based on what most of the commenter’s see,ed to be saying– that only men feel the urge to stray, that we are happy to sit home and wait, etc. which is very much false information.

    but i def cosign what you are saying.

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