News You May Have Missed

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You know the drill. Weird shit in the world.

Travel News: Travel & Leisure Magazine released a poll about where the most attractive people reside. I am proud to report that Miami was #1 with the most attractive people in the universe. Philly was at the bottom. New Jersey wasn’t even invited to the table.

Greenalysis: Miami- stand up! I have to disagree with Philly being filled with the most unattractive people, I’m my experience, and there are definitely some fine Philadelphians. Miami- stand up!!


Frivolous Lawsuit New: Typical story: 77 year old German millionaire dates 19 year old, wants sex, 19 year old comes to her senses says “Hell no! Keep that shriveled German sausage away from me.” Man sues girl for ageism saying he was humiliated.

Greenalysis: Call me crazy but I would think he could have just bought another 19 year old or 3 of them who would have gladly, you know. Did things with him. Of the naked variety. I’d also think he’ll face more humiliation by publicizing the fact that it happened. Just goes to show you, make sure both parties agree on the sex before the dinner check is paid.

 

Sexual Harassment News: If you are felt up on a train, is your first reaction to A: Slap the shit out of someone B: Make a lot of noise and slap the shit out of someone or C: Push a button on your cell phone and show the perv a message that says “Excuse me, did you just grope me?”, “Groping is a crime,” or finally, “Shall we head to the police?” along with a flashing Sad face emoticon. If you are in Japan, you’d choose option C.

Greenalysis: An angry emoticon? REALLY? Is 😦  a deterrent when a pervert grabs your ass? Maybe Japanese perverts are more polite because American perverts usually can’t read so the text would be pointless and they’d probably ether try and steal your hone, or think it was an invitation for more groping and they’d try and give you their number.

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26 Responses to “News You May Have Missed”

  1. State of Grace Says:

    Too bad Miami is still in Florida, the state that makes Texas look smart. You’re a notable exception of course, but goddamn Florida is full of morons.

  2. E aka FidelCa$hflow Says:

    L.A, S.F and S.D were both in the top 10, westcoast stand up

    that old dude should pick up tips from Heffner on gettin young trim

    LMAO @ the angry emoticon, maybe it’s more convinent than carrying around a rape whistle

  3. DJ Dee Says:

    i’ve never been to miami, but i’ve always said if i ever go, i’m never going back home

  4. OnPoint Says:

    the chicks on south beach are outrageously fine so Im not suprised, but LMAO @ a chick showing an angry face on her iphone while a random perv on a train grabs her tit.

  5. DSuper Says:

    Ageism, huh? What’s next? Lol!

  6. The XFacta Says:

    SMH @ That chick leaving that 77 year old dude hangin (||).. That’s just foul! She could have given pops his last pleasure, his final eruption, but now he’s forced to die ‘backed up’

  7. Mac Brown Vagina Scientist.....Lets Experiment! Says:

    SMH @ That chick leaving that 77 year old dude hangin (||).. That’s just foul! She could have given pops his last pleasure, his final eruption, but now he’s forced to die ‘backed up’

    ^^cosign

    Bitches like this should be publicly stoned!!

  8. benhameen Says:

    addis got miami beat. at least as far as women. probably most places outside of the US do though. But miami got some hotties…and some very intelligent smarth mouthed women. which are my favorite.

    *winks at greenie*

  9. Phuque Says:

    >>Too bad Miami is still in Florida

    ^^^

    According to this text message I just received from Pimp C, Miami is actually in France. Therefore you may have the most attractive women, but ya’ll still stank. lol…

  10. cMac Says:

    Didn’t the 19 year old learn anything from her idol Anna Nicole Smith?

  11. Jamz + Says:

    I live in Tokyo, Japan for 3 years back in the 90s and this groping stuff is serious business out there! Japanese men are deprived from a lot of the sexual luxuries that we have here in the America, so a lot of the men become perverts. There are black markets in Tokyo that actually sell women’s used panties so the men there can smell them! They go around and steal women’s underwear from unsuspecting victims.

    I had a friend (Japanese Girl) who was part time dominatress who would tell me all kinds of weird stories about shyt she’d do to those Japanese men over there, and got paid good money for doing it!

    A while back there was this video clip floating around the internet where these japanese guys were running up on women walking down the street and pulling their panties down and running. There’s a lot of sexual tension over for real…

  12. reythehussein Says:

    LOL.. That last one was great.

    I’m a gentleman tho’, so groping isn’t usually in order.

    …and shit.

    –Rey

  13. the audience Says:

    lol at Werner Von Sumass being denied…..

    Nazi tonight mofo…..go play with your “Third Reich”…..

    (-)

  14. T DOT Says:

    It’s over if old dude gets any money off her.

  15. Big Homie Says:

    Greenie was that out of sarcasm?

    Original: http://www.zshare.net/audio/4564257a6061d9/
    Remix with Chingy: http://www.zshare.net/download/4564236bccf21e/

    But there you go only because you are ‘it’

  16. G7 Says:

    lol @ that 70 year old German. 19 year olds are dime a dozen homie.

  17. EnglandRepresent Says:

    smh @ that 19 year old.

    Old men need love too.

  18. EnglandRepresent Says:

    No homo

  19. Big Homie Says:

    Miami got #1 because Greenie resides there.

  20. green eyes Says:

    ^ this is true.

  21. green eyes Says:

    and because im IT

  22. lo k Says:

    hate hate hate (c) Chappelle…

  23. lo k Says:

    “I first downloaded this as a joke,” said Spicy Soft official Michika Izumi. “But I think it could be a lifesaver if I get groped.”

    According to Tokyo Metropolitan Police, 1,853 people were arrested for groping passengers on trains in Tokyo in 2005. Experts say the incidence of harassment on trains is much higher, but women are often too embarrassed to report it.

    ^^bunch of preverts… they better not try any of their preversions around here (c) Dr. Strangelove

  24. lo k Says:

    I’m waiting for the day that women start getting in trouble for groping men on the train…

  25. 6gangmusicgroup Says:

    should i feel disrespected by the Miami comment???

    Naw…I was born in QUEENS, NY!!! lol

  26. Neil Says:

    “American perverts usually can’t read so the text would be pointless”

    That’s what the emoticon is for—the illiterates. And not just any “sad” emoticon. It flashes! Probably at a seizure-inducing rate. People writhing around on the floor, twitching epileptically, struggle to sexually harass other people.

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